First of all, extremely odd on your
family's part, but definitely relate-able for most families. Second, I think
you should expand upon this essay since "there's no place too
inappropriate." Even though you provide some intimate moments when this
greeting has occurred, I want to know the most inappropriate place this has
happened to you or even someone you know. How old were you, and how did you
react? Did you remain calm and collected or did you vacate the premises
immediately? Has anyone besides yourself performed this greeting on your
boyfriend? If so, what happened? Reflect a little here. Third, your
"instructions" on how to perform the greeting are laid out with
clarity with a reportage tone but with specific language choices to intrigue
the reader to continue and imagine the greeting taking place. Lastly, I like
the imagery you apply to the different experiences of licking your family members.
You don't linger on the adjectives, but provide enough details to balance out
the essay, keeping it clean and interesting with a sense of reality. You chose
distinct physical feelings, smells, tastes that most people know or have
experienced which allows your story to be relate-able to those with similar “traditions”
and to those who know how a stubbed toe on concrete feels.
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